Stalker! Again!

[anolinde]

[mood: Sore... ow, my back...]
[music: Freak Out- Avril Lavigne]

So, stalker pal IMed me again.

Person: hello, my exquisit princess
Me: Um, hi...
Person: you look stunning today
Me: Okay... do you even know what I'm wearing?
Person: well, i couldnt really see when i walked by your house, but i just know you do
Me: You walked by my house.
Person: well drove by....i wanted to stop and look but my bother wouldn't let me...it was just after we talked this morning
Person: do you hate me
Me: Do you even know what my house looks like?
Me: Um... well, the perverted comments are rather unnecessary...
Me: I don't actually know you, so I can't really say I hate you.
Me: But you are pretty sketchy.
Person: well, im in love with you
Person: beautiful
Me: Did you seriously go by my house?
Person: no
Person: i have no idea where it is

Thank God.

Me: Okay.
Person: but i got a picture of you scanned onto my pillow case and i made out with it
Me: Haha, yeah, and where would you get a picture of me?
Person: when i watch you at school, i have a shrine of you
Person: kind of like in hey arnold....
Me: Lolz.
Me: Hehe, what's in the shrine?
Me: Like, do you dive into trashcans to pick up pieces of paper I throw out? I seem to recall that girl doing stuff like that...
Person: well no...but i wear condoms to bed coz i have wet dreams about you and i have those in the shrine
Me: Lolz.
Me: So, who are you then?
Person: ive told you
Person: you dont believe me
Me: Well, you aren't in the phonebook.
Person: brb
Person: im sorry, i have returned now
Me: Okay.
Person: so where were we?
Person: third base
Person: lol
Me: Um, no.
Person: would you leave a clipping of your hair in the chorus room and ill pick it up for my shrine please
Me: Lolz, no.
Me: I don't even know where the chorus room is.
Person: building A

[Our school is made up of three buildings.]

Me: Whatever.
Person: why do you share our conversations with your friends
Person: i told you
Person: they make me nervous

Zomg, wouldn't it be so funny if he went, "I'd suggest you don't tell our conversations to your friends," all serious and stalker-ish, like, "Otherwise... I'll kill them!" Lolz.

Well, actually, it wouldn't be funny, but I always picture him saying that.

Me: Why not?
Me: Do you even know who my friends are?
Me: My friends think you're funny.
Person: it hurts me that you girls laugh about me
Me: Well, you'd laugh if someone you didn't know started talking all perverted to you.
Me: Especially since it's me, lolz.
Person: lol ok then
Me: So do you even know who my friends are?
Me: Or do you just look at my LiveJournal?
Person: well i looked at your lj but i assume you talk about me too, i always see you girls laughing
Me: We don't talk about you all the time... We laugh a lot, though.
Person: so you do talk about me
Me: Yes.
Person: do you like my icon

His icon's a little black bar that says 4:20.

Person: sorry add
Me: I don't get it.
Me: 4:20?

Lolz, I'm thinking, "42! LOST!"

Person: i set my alarm for 4 20 am so i can masturbate
Me: Lolz, whatever.
Me: Going back to the friends topic, do you even know who I hang out with?
Person: im not totally sure of their names, but i recognize them

Likely story... tsk, tsk, my stalker's either new to the game or not very good at it.

Person: i was thinking about a recent conversation of ours
Person: about the positions
Me: *sigh*
Person: i think you would like missonary

...Is missionary the one with the guy on top? I never really cared enough to remember.

Person: it seems like your thing
Me: So now you're judging "my thing"?
Person: sorry
Me: I hardly think you know enough about me.
Person: well you seem like the romanitc type
Me: I do?
Person: yeah
Person: youre so
Person: .......
Person: sweet
Person: not to mention sexy

LMFAO I think this guy has the wrong person.

Me: Um... when have I ever showed signs of being sweet?
Person: well
Person: not to me
Person: do you love me
Person: do you like my font
Me: I don't even know you.
Me: It's big and pink.
Me: Lol.
Person: would you like me to change it
Me: I really don't care.
Person: i wish there were a font called anolinde
Person: what can i do to make you love me
Me: Well, I'd prefer to know someone (including THEIR NAME), before making a decision about whether I like them or not.
Me: And Jeff [last name] doesn't count, because that's not who you are.
Person: well see, if i told you who i was you wouldnt want me
Me: How do you know?
Person: because no one has wanted me
Person: my brother told me the only way i would get some one is if i became a male prostitute
Me: Well, no one has ever wanted me either (except for you, supposedly), so it's not as if that matters.
Me: ...
Person: he said a hooker would refuse me
Me: *angst*
Person: serious...i have to buy extra small condoms....
Me: Why the hell are you even buying condoms? Seriously, aren't you a little young?
Person: how do you know how old i am
Me: I'm assuming you're in my grade/
Me: *.
Person: well dont you like safe sex
Me: Personally, I'm not planning on having sex for awhile, kthnx.
Person: wel...
Me: Well what?
Person: i love you
Me: Your point?
Person: i dotn have one
Me: Okay, whatever.
Person: you know, if we did it i wouldnt hurt you....id be gentle
Me: That's nice, but no.
Person: alas i must leave you
Person: is there anything you would like me to do when i pretend to have sex with you tonight
Me: Yeah, don't.
Person: you dont want me to masturbate
Me: Technically, it's your decision, but pretending it's me is NOT something I'd prefer to have you do.
Person: alright
Person: i wont then
Person: ever again
Person: ill wait for the real thing
Me: Thank you. And no, you're not getting the real thing.
Person: you just wait
Me: Whatever.
Person: goodbye
Person signed off at 4:10:08 PM.

Jeez, this guy is sketch. I really hope one of my friends isn't playing a joke... Cause it's really stupid.

Comments

[captain-lanie.livejournal.com]

Eww.. Just, eww.

[anolinde.livejournal.com]

Yeah, quite.